I can't stand it anymore. I hate my mum. I just heard her drop her ipad, she's trying to blame my dad, I wasn't there but I know it was her. I just heard her say and I quote "I hate my life. I fucking hate this family. I'm so fucking miserable. I hate you all." I can't stand her. On Monday, she got so annoyed with me (I have no idea why) she grabbed my hair and my head and dragged me from the kitchen to the front door, pushed me out, threw my bag out, and locked the door. Eh thought that was the right decision. I can head her right now, she's blaming me for HER dropping her ipad. I've been upstairs all of this time. I want her to stop saying this. This is all she ever says. How she hates her life. If she hates it that much then maybe she should just leave. I'm so happy i'm going away for three days, I can't handle this anymore. She can give it, but she can't take it. Maybe she should just leave if her life is so shit.

I'm sick of my parents. I'm never good enough for them, I'll always be the number 2 child. I'll never be as clever or as good as my sister. I'll never have the good qualities that she has. My parents will never accept me. They know nothing about me, yet they act like they do in front of anyone they know. My mum is so selfish and lazy, all she does is talk about herself, and buy things for herself. She was on her ipad and she asked me to get her a yoghurt and a drink, so I did, I held them out for like five minutes, yet she continued to use her ipad, still ignoring me and the fact that I got them for her. I put them down next to her and she didn't even acknowledge that they were there, or that I'd put them there. I just walked away. Later on I was stood in the kitchen, my dad walked into me, he didn't say anything, and then like ten minutes later my mum shoved into me and didn't say anything either. I feel like I only get noticed if I shout, even then I only get sent to my bedroom like a five year old, it's not like I want attention, I just want them to acknowledge that I'm there. I know most teenagers say as soon as they can, they're moving out of their parents home, I one of the majority of people who say that, but I mean it. For good.

I'm going to Africa in summer guys, but don't worry, I'm only gone for a week! I'll probably still blog, I don't know what I'd do without it anymore!

I will always care about you. I will always think you're beautiful. I will always be by your side.

I am actually so proud of myself... I don't even care if this is going to make you cringe, but I used a tampon today! Yes, an actual tampon. I am actually really happy because I go swimming every morning and every night, so it gets annoying at that time of the month. But now it's great, I can't even feel it, and it means i don't have to sit in my own blood all day. This means i don't have to stop swimming monthly. I am so proud that i actually did it, when you think about it, it sounds horrible, but it's great, I wish I did it from the start!

I need to sleep, but I don't want to. I'm too enraged. If this is what friends do, then I don't think I want any, any longer. Anyone who reads this blog is probably sick to death of hearing all of my problems, but being anonymous on a blog that no one knows about just makes me feel better.

I hate what they've done to you, I hate what they're making you do, I hate what they're making you feel.

I'm just sick of everything, my friend feels like crap, all of our others friends are just being... grrhhhh. They don't even listen. I'm just annoyed, upset and hurt that my friends could make my friend and I feel that way.

It's really hard to handle all of my exams with all of this stress, but luckily, today was my last exam. No more exams... *sigh of relief*

I hate how my friends make me feel sometimes.... Well most of the time. We had this whole argument, where basically they spread shit about me. They all ganged up on me and had a go at me, but then to my face were asking if I was okay. It just makes me feel awful, then they blame the whole situation on me. I feel like I have absolutely no friends. It's like they don't even care, it's like they don't even think.

My parents were having an argument and I decided to listen in. My dad has epilepsy, the doctor said that he will stop midway through a sentence, he said its part of the problem. My mum was shouting at my dad saying she can't even have a conversation with him because of it. Then she started saying how if she didn't talk about about herself and her work all the time, then they would never have a conversation, because they have no common ground and because they don't have anything to say. I left the house at that point, because if I didn't, then I would have punched my mum in the face.

I honestly think my parents are going to split up. On Saturday I was at my best friend's birthday party (or at least I think she's my best friend?), I slept over. When I got home my sister told me that my parents had been arguing all night. She told me that my mum was shouting at my dad for always going away, going away to be with his dad and to look after his dad. Like I said before, my mum doesn't care about anyone but herself, so how would she know how hurtful that would be? They are sleeping in separate rooms and my dad has moved all of his stuff out, they think I don't know, but I'm not stupid. My mum keeps on having arguments with my dad, like right this minute. She's stayed in her bedroom for 4 days, with only coming out for food. Like I said, she's selfish. They're going to split up, I know it.

Yeah, so basically, I'll start from the beginning.... My parents keep on going away on weekends to see my grandparents, my grandad has parkinsons disease and is really ill. All my mum can do is, talk, think and do things for herself, and herself only. It's my dads, dad that's ill, they keep on having to travel for hours to visit him, but they won't let me go. I can understand why, under the circumstances, I don't think I'd want to; however horrible that sounds. My mum had a discussion with me, she told me that he's dying, and that theres nothing that we can do. You can tell my dad is really upset, my mum on the other hand, could not care less.

Introduction

Okay I've only just started, so I don't really know where to start. This is just my blog to express my feelings, most of the time I feel depressed and down, so enjoy it, because I'm sure your life couldn't be as bad as this. Hi, my name is anonymous, this is my bog about my life, really.